


100 Kinks of Darkpilot, #41 -- Casual Sex

by idrilhadhafang



Series: 100 Kinks of Darkpilot [41]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Casual Sex, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Loss of Virginity, M/M, with feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-11 12:36:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11148555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: After Poe's boyfriend Daniel breaks up with him, he takes comfort -- in more than one way -- in Ben. He didn't know it would get complicated.Or, five times that Poe and Ben had sex without expressing their feelings for each other, and one time Ben said something.





	100 Kinks of Darkpilot, #41 -- Casual Sex

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: So I probably didn't do casual sex well. I'm really sorry.

1\. To say that Poe was in a bad state was putting it mildly. Even heading off to Poe’s house to comfort him, Poe was currently trying to comfort himself with bad holos, a lot of speeder races, and plenty other things. Nothing drug-related, but Ben worried nonetheless. It only made him angrier at Daniel. How dare he use Poe like that? How dare he break his heart? How dare he think that he was worthy of Poe’s affection, how dare he --

 _No. Don’t get too jealous. Jealousy is the shadow of greed, as is attachment._ So Master Naris had said. But what had he known? Really. What did he know?

It was one of those instances in heading over to Poe’s house that Ben couldn’t help but worry. Was Poe going to be all right? Was Poe going to --

He knocked. Poe answered the door, giving him a weak smile, a heartbroken sort of smile. “Hey,” he said. “Good to see you.”

“Good to see you too.” If only it was under better circumstances.

Even as Poe invited him in, Ben could see that the house was in a pretty sorry state. It looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in quite a while, not like a storm had invited itself over, but it did look pretty disheveled. DVDs, wrappers, things like that.

“Are you doing all right?” Ben said.

“I’m holding up,” Poe said. “It’s just...I still have no idea what I did wrong.”

“Nothing.” You’re perfect, Ben wanted to say, but he couldn’t say it out loud. Somehow, he couldn’t say it out loud. He couldn't bring himself to do it.

“You weren’t there, Ben -- ’’

“You’re perfect.” The words slipped out before Ben could stop himself. _You’re perfect. If there was a flaw about you, it would just be adding fine details._

Silence. “Really?”

“You are. You really are.”

Ben reached up to touch Poe’s face, stroke it. Poe’s face was growing wet with tears, and Ben said softly, “Don’t cry, Poe. Please.” _It hurts too much to see you cry._

“Ben...”

They were so close. Ben could see those beautiful brown eyes, dark eyes. Their lips were so close, and Ben wanted to kiss them...

Their lips touched. Even as it intensified, Ben thought, Stars, is that a real kiss? He couldn’t help but be blown away. Was that what being kissed, really, truly kissed, like? Like your body was singing? Because Ben knew, even as Poe’s hands ran through his hair and caressed it, that his body was singing.

The kiss broke, and Poe said, “Ben...I want to be naked with you. “I shouldn’t, but stars, I want you, Ben. I want you so much.”

“I want you too.” _My one, my only. My only desire, my only love._ “I -- I want you.”

“Ben, I need -- ’’

“Do you need me to be...naked before you?”

Poe’s eyes were all but enormous. “Please.”

Silence. Then, “Anything.”

The moment Ben disrobed, he was already self-conscious, he wasn’t going to lie. Everything seemed to rush into his mind at that moment -- he was too tall, too skinny, too much muscle, not enough muscle. His heart fluttered even as Poe looked over him. Would Poe still want him? Even after all this time?

Poe’s eyes lingered on him, and the amazement radiating off him, the awe -- that put some of Ben’s worries to rest. He didn’t think he had ever been looked at with such desire, as if his body was something beautiful.

“You look beautiful,” Poe said. “You really do.” He wet his lips, and Ben heard one of his thoughts dance across his mind. I don’t think even my fantasies about him compare to this. And even that was stunning. Poe had fantasized about him? More images danced across his mind -- Poe, after his break-up with Daniel, reaching for his erect shaft (and this was the second time that he had seen that shaft curling towards Poe’s belly) even as he imagined what Ben would look like under those robes. He looked good, he truly did, just stroking himself off like that.

Then again, Poe was always beautiful, he truly was.

“You...really found me that desirable?”

Poe wet his lips again. “Ben,” he said, “You’re absolutely breathtaking. I want -- stars, I just want to kiss you, I want to taste you, I don’t know where to begin in what I want to do.”

“Then do it.” _I want you. Stars, I want you._ “Kiss me again.”

Poe did, and it was tender at first before getting hungry, before they were all but scrambling for more skin, more contact. The kiss broke, and Poe said, “Have you ever done this before?”

“No.”

Poe was so gentle with him. They weren’t lovers, but Poe was as tender as one would be with a lover. Ben couldn't help but feel all but jealous -- had he done this before, with Daniel? The sting of jealousy he felt made Ben overwhelmingly grateful that Poe couldn't read his mind. He reciprocated, clumsily, shyly, wanting to make Poe feel as good as Poe was making him feel. He was shy, frequently seeking Poe’s approval, and Poe reassured him every step of the way, all but gushing about how good Ben made him feel.

“Ben...Ben, you’re wonderful. I love -- I love it when you do that. You’re so good.”

Ben reveled in the praise. He wanted to make Poe feel good, he wanted to make him feel as perfect as he was making Ben feel.

They continued their ministrations, and Ben swore his body was singing. Poe continued until a wave of pleasure that Ben had never known crashed over him, and the amount of fluid coursing from him -- he didn't think that he’d ever seen it before.

Poe followed, the same as Ben, face contorted in ecstasy, before they both collapsed on the pillows, sated.

“What was that?” Ben said.

“You had an orgasm,” Poe said. “We both did.”

“Oh.” To think he was so sheltered from the matter of sex that he didn't know what an orgasm felt like...that was pretty embarrassing, really.

They lay there for a while, and Ben didn’t know what was going to happen next. Poe’s arm was around him, and Ben could fantasize that they were lovers, Poe holding him, and their moment of sex was a moment of perfect, glorious lovemaking. It was still glorious, his body was singing, and yet Ben wanted more. Could he have more? He didn’t know.

“How are you?” Ben said.

“Feeling better,” Poe said. “You?”

“I had a great time.” And that was true, despite the longing. That was true, because Poe had done amazing things to his body, things he didn’t think he was capable of feeling.

They drifted off to sleep in that moment, safe with the other, Ben dreaming of the day that Poe would love him.

2\. Check your emotions at the door. That was what they said about casual sex. Don’t let them get in the way. But stars, he wanted Poe so much, loved him so much. But love wasn’t in the question when it came to casual sex. But he would do anything to make Poe happy. Ben should have been staying away, but he also needed more of Poe, more of Poe’s body and his touch. He needed more of Poe’s fingers and his mouth and -- oh, stars, he needed --

And he needed to pleasure Poe. The first time he used his mouth to pleasure Poe, there was something intoxicating about being on his knees before Poe, Poe’s erect shaft curling towards his belly. Poe had used his mouth to bring Ben to orgasm before and now Ben wanted to do the same.

“Do you want this?” Ben’s breath was so close to Poe’s shaft, so near.

“Please.”

Ben took it in slowly, following Poe’s advice, reveling in the compliments and praise even as he took Poe’s shaft into his mouth. It was warm and heavy and salty, and every drop of it tasted new and strange, but it was Poe. Poe’s hands petted his hair and Poe was gasping. “Ben...stars, that mouth of yours is so perfect. You look so gorgeous on your knees.”

Ben listened to Poe gasp and moan and plead, all but driven by lust. When Poe did come, he said, “Ben...this isn’t going to taste good.”

Ben withdrew from Poe’s shaft, and said, voice rough, “I can deal with it. Let me taste you. Please.”

He took Poe back into his mouth again, and when Poe came, Ben swallowed it down, eager for the taste and what Poe had to offer. Finally, he had all but consumed Poe, licking his lips to get the last of Poe’s taste.

Poe pulled him to his feet, hugged him, and just that touch made Ben wish he could say he loved him.

  
3\. From there, Poe initiated Ben into the matter of sex, and Ben knew that the Order was already talking. Slut was one of the words thrown around. Attached was another. It took Poe to reassure him that he was none of the labels that the Order threw around.

“They don’t know what they’re talking about,” he said. “They never have. You are a stanging beautiful, amazing man, and the fact they can’t see it...”

It was the closest thing that they had to the matter of “I love you”. They still didn’t have the strength to say it. They still didn’t have the courage to say anything, actually.

The first time that Poe actually penetrated Ben, it wasn’t easy. Poe wanted to take Ben face to face, but the question was how they were actually going to do all this. It was then that Poe coaxed him through it. A pillow under his hips to ease penetration, a bottle of lubricant to do the same. And feeling Poe filling him up...he doubted he had ever felt this good before. Filling him, penetrating him, joining him to Poe. That fullness...he doubted there was anyone else he’d rather share it with, actually.

Poe thrust into him again and again, and Ben could see his face, full of desire and need and...

Love? Did Poe love him? Was that Allowed?

All the while, Poe stroked Ben, caressed his shaft, caressed him, and there was something about the feeling of Poe’s hand on his shaft that was purely bliss. When Ben came, he found himself crying out for Poe, who followed not long after, releasing plenty of that hot seed inside Ben.

They slumped on the bed, Poe holding him, and Ben knew...Ben knew that Poe felt something for him. He had to. After all, that look...

Ben just wondered when he would find the strength to tell him.

 

4\. It was after the vision on Milara that Ben went to Poe once more. He didn’t tell Poe about the vision, not truly; he could already picture Poe’s revulsion at the idea that Ben Solo could have done such horrible things in the vision. And then, there would come the accusations.

“This is what I slept with?” Not who, but what. Ben could picture it too well, as if Ben were a thing and not a person. Or, “You made me want you.” As if Ben was even capable of that!

So he didn't tell Poe about the vision. Nonetheless, there was something about the sex they shared that night, this time rougher sex, that was enough to reassure Ben that he was very much alive. Even with the bites and nips, fingers clawing down his back, Ben knew that the pain was just a reminder that he was very much alive.

  
5\. It was the same after Thomas’ death. Only different. Poe’s lips were quiet reassurances, quiet reminders that what happened wasn’t Ben’s fault. He couldn’t say that he was sure; after all, Ben could have been faster, could have been stronger. And yet for a moment, under the touches, he is comforted, kept safe.

 

_And one instance that was different..._

It was after yet another round of sex to help Ben cope with emerge nightmares that Ben spoke. “Poe...there’s something I need to tell you.”

Poe hummed softly. “Tell me.”

“I was meaning to tell you this for a long time. I couldn’t figure out the right way. But...”

“But what?”

Ben spoke. When he did, his voice was trying not to shake. “I love you, Poe.”

 

 

 

 


End file.
